Have Less

P & I have been sharing an apartment now for about three months! We adore our little studio, and we've already had two guests stay over (one at a time) on a sweet air mattress that our friends gave us as a wedding present. It doesn't feel cramped or crowded, it feels perfectly sized for us.

But.

It took us a lot of work to get there.

We gave away a lot of stuff between moving out of our separate places in Connecticut and unpacking together here. There have been a lot of garage sales, goodwill runs, clothing swaps, and re-using to get our "stuff" habit under control! And attempting to live simply is still a work in progress, for us.

What we've found, though, is that it is kind of exhilarating! Though we aren't perfect at it, P and I are now always trying to ask questions about what "simplicity" could look like for us. (It's funny, but an unexpected temptation has been kitchen gadgets that only perform one function! We try to avoid them, and pretty much do, but they are so darn cute. One egg slicer, please.)

We are also finding that each time we try to choose simplicity, there are trade-offs. Our apartment is a good example. We were really trying to find a spot from which I could walk to school and P could take the metro to work. It's a small space, so we are encouraged to simplify by not keeping things we don't need here. At the same time, the apartment is downtown in a ritzy building. Our rent is average for this area, but it is on the higher end of the DC spectrum. Another way we could have aimed for simplicity would have been focusing on finding a less expensive place further away. This time we opted for simplicity in terms of space & green transit, but we could have easily prioritized rent instead.

It's funny how complicated it can be to try to choose simplicity!

Something I've been thinking about lately, too, is about the selfish side of simplifying life. We've already talked a little bit about the class dimension to simplicity speak, and it doesn't take much time browsing Real Simple or GOOP (two things I love) to pick up on the ways that "simple" can translate as a certain kind of wealthy western performance.

photo via Real Simple

Is simplicity just about having a better life?

It's clear to me that living with less makes things better for me & P. I hate clutter, and there is less of it in our apartment! When we are overstimulated with stuff nothing feels as unique or fun. Most obviously, when we overspend on things we don't need we feel the stress of debt and a crowded closet (I mean...home).

But I think it's more than that. I think we crave simplicity but that the point of it isn't just that my life with P will be better. It is also so that we can constantly orient ourselves outward. "Our" stuff isn't just for us, it's to be shared! Simplicity isn't just so our home is beautiful and our closet is color-coordinated (!) -- it is also, I think, a practice in giving and in service. What can God do with this? This extra time, money, space, treasure that we may have cleared out.

I guess I worry that performing the simple life is a new strategy in class hierarchy. We fear hoarders, and slum-dwellers, and dirty, crowded Occupy protesters and population explosions, and immigrants who will come take up our space. Could a crisp white wall with a single fern in front of it on Real Simple's magazine cover be the new refuge for the wealthy?

Simplicity isn't about keeping people out, though. Isn't it about inviting people in?

P & I want to have less that we like more. We want to share our space and our stuff. We want to practice simplicity as a way of being grateful. It does make our lives better, but not just because we are more comfortable, right? Also because it can actually be uncomfortable to try to go against an impulse of more-better-progress-expand-consume.

It's challenging. Simplicity feels soothing for the overworked exhausted American consumer, but that may just be a byproduct of the real goal, which could be something more like the equitable distribution of space & stuff & safety. 

What do you think?